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 We all do it. We consciously or subconsciously say things to ourselves all the time. Thoughts are a form of self-talk. Are we saying something friendly and helpful or harmful and demoralizing? As traders, our self-talk can either be friend or foe depending on what we say to ourselves.
Have you heard that we can literally talk ourselves in or out of trades? Well, this is true.
If self-talk is so important, how do we control it so it becomes helpful to us not only as traders, but in living? These are key questions and very important to trading profitably.
We are all different people with diverse backgrounds and experiences that help to mold our perceptions about ourselves and, of course, how we talk to ourselves. Poor self-esteem can lead to damaging self-talk that, in turn, can lead to destructive behavior and actions. If you have poor self-esteem, chances are, you aren’t talking nicely to yourself. You also may not perceive reality as it truly is and, therefore, say delusional things to yourself.
For example, as a trader, perhaps you had a bad experience that is influencing your current self-talk. This is apparent in traders who trade from a fearful mindset because they are nervous that the market will take their money again -- just as it did the last time.
Exercises
Here are a few exercises to help you improve your self-talk and learn to live in the present moment.
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Try and mold yourself into the person or trader you want to be. Change your thoughts and change your self-talk. Be consciously aware of what you are saying to yourself and catch yourself when thinking harmful self-talk or just plain thinking too much. By observing your self-talk, you are taking the first important step in becoming consciously aware of what you are saying so that you can alter destructive patterns. |
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As traders, we also tend to think too much about why the market is doing such and such instead of living in the present moment. So, ignore opinions and just observe the market and flow with the market. |
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Try to let go and stop thinking so much. Try it for one full month and see what you experience. You may have more or less anxiety depending on whether you can comfortably let go and live in a realm of chaos as the chips fall randomly into place, so to speak. This is truly living on the edge of life. You will experience its wonders and random perfection. It is exposing all that is and, at the same time, becoming aware of the unpredictable nature of life and, of course, the markets, while being able to live in uncertainty and thrive on that. |
The Big Picture
In regard to uncertainty, think about this. We know that this planet we live on circles our sun, but, other than that, we have absolutely no idea where we are, really. We do not know where the universe begins or ends. We have no idea where the earth is actually located in this universe, where the universe originated from or when it might end. So, the uncertainty of our existence is no different from the uncertainty of trading because, in trading, we do not know what is going to happen next.
Now let’s go one step further. Our culture here on earth is one of wanting certainty in our life. This actually contradicts the uncertain reality we live in.
So I ask you -- “Does man (and woman, for that matter) overcomplicate his life and / or his thoughts, so he does not have time to focus on the raw fact of being too scared to face the reality that we live in uncertainty? Does it scare the heck out of this person?
In letting go emotionally and simplifying your thought process, can you surrender to the fact that we live in uncertainty and accept that as being okay and the way it is meant to be? Do you try to mask uncertainty by attempting to control outcomes and others, much as a weak ego seeks to hide behind an overbearing personality?
Relating this to trading, do we try to take the risk out of trading by using too many indicators to confirm trades? Do we use too much information so that we delude ourselves into thinking we know what the market is doing and / or what it will do? Does it scare you to know that, no matter how carefully and thoroughly you prepare for a trade, the reality is that you still might lose? Is this why some traders can’t pull the trigger, so to speak?
The purpose of these questions is to make you think. Try to evaluate your answers, so you can understand and improve your self-talk and better understand yourself. Your trading will, I hope, also benefit.
Observe your self-talk; is it friend or foe? If it is foe, try some of the exercises previously described to see if you can’t turn your foe into your best friend.
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